Sunday, July 5, 2015
Daring Greatly, book study, week 1
Every Thursday in July we are going to discuss the book Daring Greatly on Michelle's BTL blog. I am a few days late, but still in the right week! (yay). For July 2nd, we were supposed to be ready to discuss chapters 1 and 2. But really it starts with the author's words about What It Means to Dare Greatly, and then before the first chapter is also the introduction from the author called "My Adventures in the Arena." I found "deep thoughts" in every single part of what I read so far. To tell the truth, I had to put the book down and breathe for a couple days before I started the chapters. The book is built off of this quote:
To be honest, I read a lot in the introduction that felt like the author was holding up a mirror to me and I saw myself and didn't like what I saw. Here are some of the more painful text that I underlined. "...the core issues were the same: fear, disengagement, and yearning for more courage." "When shame becomes a management style, engagement dies." I think what scared me to the core was that I see myself disengaging at times. I invest heavily at work and sometimes I feel like there is nothing left. I have a child who is "high needs" and sometimes I just retreat into my world of social media, blogging, reading, and emailing and just check out. I felt convicted when I read and I know I need to face my fears and parenting failures head on. It is not enough to give it all at school, my greatest calling/challenge/blessing is parenthood. I pray for the guts to do whatever it takes to be the best Mom I can be today.
As I moved into chapter one, Ms. Brown speaks a lot to the narcissism or proclaimed narcissistic behavior in our society today. I agree that we overuse this terminology and that we have more influence than we believe we do. I can only change myself, but to change my culture includes using language of we, not I and putting the we back in team. In chapter one, the author talks a lot about a culture of scarcity with the meaning being: restricted in quantity. Or the phenomenon of "never enough." She goes on to talk about how we live in scarcity.... we feel like we are "never good enough," "never perfect enough," "never thin enough," etc. I am well acquainted to the culture of "never enough." At the end of chapter one, this statement stuck with me: "I'd say the one thing we have in common is we're sick of feeling afraid. We all want to be brave."
Probably most freeing and inspiring statement of what I have read thus far is this: "Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weaknesses."
I liked the marble jar analogy. She talks about friends who fill your marble jar and those to take out, and how you can tell which ones you can be vulnerable with by whether they add to your marble jar or not.
Lastly, I was convicted by the author talking about over-sharing. I am an over-sharer. I am getting better, but it is still there. That is not what the author is referring when she encourages us to be vulnerable. There's a time and place and we have to learn how, when and who to be vulnerable with. We need to learn this balance. (We means ME).
I am exhausted after reading this much of the book and I look forward to the next chapter. I hope that all makes sense.