Celebrating Birthdays is a summer ritual. (and blowing stuff up, which I posted about HERE.) My Mom, bless her heart, I have given her grief for many years for every single thing she did wrong, but she is a great birthday planner. Her perfection-driven OCD gets in the way a little bit, but she is really creative and goes out of her way to celebrate us kids. And maybe that is because for as long as I can remember, I have not been overjoyed by the anniversary of my birth. I tend to sulk and go to some dark places (which I didn't do this year.... yay). But it's a little funny (funny- ironic, not funny- haha) that I know that when my family asks me if I'm doing okay, they are not talking about "okay" in a shoot-the-breeze-talk-about-the-weather kind of way. They mean, am I okay..... So I guess the deal is that we all go overboard to celebrate Carrie's birthday to make sure she doesn't become suicidal. And reality is that my family isn't that powerful. If I start going to a suicidal place, no one can stop it. Dangit, here I go over-sharing. That speaks to the piece of this that says that writing is cathartic, and not the part that says that some things are better left unsaid. Well, I am not suicidal today. Maybe this is the time to write about it, acknowledge that it is the dark shadow lurking in the cobwebs of my mind/soul. *Okay* time to get back to the positive. Birthdays are good. My BB (belly-button) birthday was Monday. My AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) birthday is in February. I celebrate it every. single. year. Because I never want to forget where I came from, the hell I've been through, and where my life is today. I never want to take my life today for granted. I have spent some years trying to keep this part of me off of my education blog. But it is part of who I am. It makes me the teacher I am today and makes me aware of how important those relationships are. Also, having already been through hell, I am well-aware that just about anything that life throws at me today is a situation, and I can handle it. And that every little thing, is really just that, a little thing. I get tired of hearing of teachers grumble sometimes. But I also support what they are saying. We ARE underpaid and the expectation is high. But I've also worked jobs where I've worked a lot harder for a lot less money and it was never enough. I just worked, worked, worked. And no reward. Being a teacher is extremely rewarding for me. *rant over* I celebrate my bb birthday today because I really want to be excited that I was born and I have less grief over that fact than I used to. But July is also when my girls' birthdays are. Today, in fact, is the Redhead's birthday! She is turning 20 today. Can I really have a child that is an adult? Apparently. And the Punky's birthday is at the end of the month, the 26th, just two days after my sister's birthday. My nephew joined the first part of July birthday celebrating.... his birthday is July 8. We celebrated together on Monday. We are all just so happy he's in our lives. He is three. He came to us at 5 months old and only days before Christmas with the understanding that he would not be staying with our family, that my sister's family would just be fostering him. But miracles happen and he is now a part of our family. August holds birthdays in our family also. So summertime really is about celebrating birthdays.
|This lil Punkin is turning 12 this summer.|
|Happy Birthday Red. (Hey look! Your hair is ACTUALLY red right now!)|
Coffee. Everyday is a coffee day, as you know if you are facebook friends with me. But in summer I can actually sit around and enjoy the coffee I am taking in. I can leisurely drink my liquid cup of steaming love and browse the internet, stalk blogs, or stalk facebook, or write. Because it is now a ritual to join Michelle for the BTLBC.
Reading. For pleasure. I read voraciously when I am reading novels. And what I mean is.... my family knows they are on their own for meals and to leave me alone! And I know that sleep will come when the book is done.
Reading for betterment. Of myself emotionally and spiritually. Professionally.
Connecting/Re-connecting with family and friends. I love lunches with friends, spending the afternoon with my Mom, and meeting up with colleagues.
Pushing the limits to get in my classroom and work! I just want to be READY for next year. I never feel ready and yet, I am always ready. I can't wait to see those little faces. I miss my class family from last year, but I'm thinking about this next year as well.