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Friday, April 12, 2013

Fretful Friday. My Five for Friday is full of worry and fret this week.

This week has been a roller coaster ride of emotion. I left my Kinders for two days to attend Grandma Katherine's funeral. I don't care how good my sub is, my class is a mess when I get back. And I should know to prepare emotionally. I am way too much of a control freak to put my personal books in the classroom library, but the sub let them "read" my books. They are bent, ripped and torn. Some brand new that I haven't read myself yet. I am crushed. Nice Ms. Horn went home early and cranky Ms. Horn was there all afternoon. Not to mention, I actually teared up. Yikes. So the excitement of being back with my beloved class was overshadowed by happenings in my absence, that in all honesty, were not (entirely) the students fault. I am so discouraged tonight I am avoiding my Five for Friday, which I usually cannot wait to address. Mmmmph. I am completely discouraged. And I'm wallowing in my misery. So I am going to do a Five for things I am fretting/sad/concerned about. Maybe some of my friends will say a prayer.

Fret Number one. The alien has landed.
Punky getting a breathing treatment

comfort food: mashed potatoes and hamburger gravy

rainbow sherbet
We went to the Doctor on Tuesday and they didn't hear anything suspicious in her lungs, no prescription. By today the cough is horrible. We used the rescue inhaler twice today and came home to a breathing treatment.  Before we got home I said "What do you want for supper since it's Mom and Punky night?" And she said, "I don't know, something soft? Maybe applesauce?" Heartbreak. I said... "How about mashed potatoes? Those are soft." Therefore we had mashed potatoes for supper. And rainbow sherbet for dessert. Tonight I put the Punkin to bed with a strong cough suppressant.

Fret number two. Little Miss Punky. They didn't find anything wrong with her lungs, but I remembered to mention all her pain in her knees. My little girl might have rheumatoid arthritis. They X-Rayed her knees and prescribed Naproxin. So my baby might have rheumatoid arthritis. 

Fret number three. Not a fret. Just a little sadness. I can't be really, really sad about Grandma Katherine, because she lived such a beautiful, full life and survived to be 100.  I am just a little bit sad. More sad to have the fact of our immortality driven home, that our bodies grow frail even when I our minds stay strong. Somber to wonder what the end of my own life will look like and if I will have made a tribute to society, to my children, to the world? I don't have a photo. Due to late meetings and Dr. appointments, and inclement weather, we missed the viewing/visitation, but I was told that she didn't look like the vibrant woman we know and love, so I am not even terrible sad that we don't have that photo. 

Fret number four. The ominous responsibility that lays on my shoulders to teach these children, to teach them to read, to prepare them for first grade, making sure they know their numbers and how to add and subtract fluently within five. 

Fret number five. All of the above. Not really. But the fret or worry that I won't be able to let my fears go and give them to God and be the best person I can be today. Because fear is crippling. And I don't want to be grumpy Ms. Horn, I want to go to school each day excited and full of anticipation for the great and wonderful adventure that is Kindergarten. 

Some weeks we have Fantastic Friday. Some weeks we have Flexible Friday. Some weeks it is Fabulous. Today was just Freaky Friday. Okay, I was just hanging on waiting to reach my destination. Now it's the weekend and almost Saturday (and now it is officially Saturday) and I have SO MUCH TO DO. I guess I'll just tackle one piece at a time. I finished my Five for Friday and I am determined to have a more positive post next week. Good thoughts and prayers will not be discouraged. 

Hop over to Doodle Bugs for more random Fives. Most of them will be much more upbeat than mine tonight. Because who wants to read about all this worry and fret? I promise, I'll find something more positive to post next Friday. 

My gratitude thing tonight is that next Friday is our Last Friday. Strange right? I mean, I thought it was strange when I heard of this thing that my district does. As of April 26 we will not have school on Fridays for the rest of the year. It might be a mixed blessing, I have so much to do, it might not be a "real" day off, but a day to work full-stream ahead without my students being there. I am grateful for the Fridays off that are coming up soon. Thanks for reading and caring. I am posting a gratitude list this week sometime. Either a stand alone or a Five for Friday gratitude list for the next week, but I will do it! 



1 comment:

  1. I, too, am a control freak, especially when it comes to books. I feel so bad for you, and your sub. Hoping you have a good Saturday and can feel the love from your family, friends and students!
    Alyce

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