Currently. A Linky Party

My friend Alyce at Mrs. Bartel's School Family is constantly exposing me to other teacher's ideas and has gotten me hooked on Linky parties. So I am planing to post for a couple of them. School starts again in a few short days and I had grandiose plans to have all my lesson plans written for the month of January. As it is, it will probably be a miracle if I have next week's plan written by 8 a.m. on Monday morning when they are due. I did however, make what I consider to a very wise purchase from TpT: January Math and Literacy from Miss Kindergarten. Over 100 pages of ideas, games, centers and instructions. Plus it shows how each element teaches to the Common Core Standards. I am not tech-smart enough to design my own units, but I was told in college (don't let my age fool you, I am a recent grad), that teaching is about stealing ideas from other teachers. I am learning that is really true for me. Okay, I am also the learning the proper etiquette and you just can't steal things, but most teachers will share as long as credit is given where credit is due.

Currently I am listening to: Dumbo.  My children have discovered Disney movies on Netflix and my elder of the two at home is educating the younger about the classics. So sixteen or eight, they are both enamored with the Disney movies. I am mostly listening today and doing my own thing, blogging right now. Yesterday I was privvy to The Aristocats (a personal favorite), and Alice in Wonderland which I've never actually watched in its entirety and once again I only listened and watched it in snippets because I was distracted. Yesterday I worked on report cards for a majority of the day.

Currently I am loving: computer time. Surfing Pinterest, reading new blogs, keeping up with "old" blogs, and becoming part of an internet community.

Currently I am thinking about: 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. I think by the end of whatever it is that God is going to do, I will love it, but right now I am feeling some apprehension and some genuine hate. I wanted change, but I hate it when God puts His finger on those truly ugly places in my heart and mind and exposes me for what I really am: sinful, ugly, flawed, hopeless. My sixteen year old and I are doing the food part in our own sort of way. So far, as of day two, the rules are a little sketchy, because they are our rules and they are not etched in stone yet, or maybe ever. I already know I will be sick, sick, sick of dried beans by the end of the thirty days. And I might never again want to eat toast with peanut butter again. I asked God to give me the guts to make some changes in my life, and right now all I can think about is that I really hate change.

Currently I am wanting: financial freedom. Even more than I want a piece of Danielle's cheesecake or a handful of those candycane kisses. Therefore I will continue to seek change and God's will and ways and be willing to simplify my life. All of which begins with this crazy project I am taking on because I am reading about one woman's journey (and well, her family's journey, and her friends' journey, and her church's journey, and the ripple keeps expanding doesn't it?) to rid her life of extreme excess. Ugh.

Currently I am needing: more resolve, grit and determination. Hmmm. Maybe I need humility. Less me, more others. Need is so skewed in my world. Is it a need? Is it a want? The things I think I "need" are usually just wants dressed up as needs. I don't need much. Just a complete and utterly revolutionary inner transformation. That's all I asking Lord, just change everything about my blackened, selfish soul, and I'll have no more needs. Until tomorrow, when new "needs" will pop up. Because I am needy like that.

One Little Word. Selfish. That is what I see in me. I say how I do things for my family, for my children, for others, for the love of Kindergarten, but I see me in everything. I don't really see too much of God. So maybe really my word is CHANGE.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change: everything besides myself is outside of my control.

Courage to change the things I can: that is me, my attitude, my heart, my desire to be more willing, more accepting and more flexible. I am the only thing I can change. And why start with one or two little things, why not change everything, fruit basked upset.  I am halfway there. I did up and move my family to the middle of nowhere to begin again, begin anew, a teacher of Kindergarten students, totally fresh and new in a new land. So change my heart and attitude Lord.  Make it match the miracle you wish to do in us.

And the wisdom to know the difference: ouch. I don't really know that. I try to change all sorts of unchangeable things.  Among those things I know that I am a part of that. So when I say that I am the thing that I can change, I don't really believe that. I can change my attitude, but actions take a long time to follow. I can fake it til I make it though, and continue to choose gratitude, and choose contentment, and choose less, and choose to simplify. I don't really even have the power to change my own heart. But I have the freedom today to ask God to change it and to truly attempt to listen.

One little word: maybe the word is change. Maybe the word is control. Maybe the word is selfish. But I am fairly sure that the key is willingness. If I am willing, then there is a chance that real change might occur in my selfish, controlling heart. If one little word is about what I seek, then the word is contentment. And I'll end my  quest for one little word right there. My heart and soul long to be content with the life my God has so generously bestowed upon me. Contentment. Just the word causes me to breathe a breathy little sigh of.... well, contentment.

Here's the link to the January Currently with Oh' Boy Fourth Grade.

This little post exhausted me, so I'll link up with the Resolution Linky party in some future post. This week watch for: What is happening in our classroom this month. Keep reading, linking, commenting and please, please, please become a follower of my blog. If you want to know more about this crazy project we are undertaking follow me at: Putting the Funk in Dysfunction.