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Saturday, September 13, 2014

Teacher Burnout? Growing Days.

So this is a hard blogging weekend for me. I didn't participate in Five for Friday. I can tell you five things about our week. I can even tell you five wonderful things from our week. But Friday was one of those hard learning days. Friday was the epitome of the day that looms in that infamous interview question: "How do you prepare yourself to come back and be enthusiastic again after those hard days?" Friday is overshadowing the learning this week that was good. Students were disrespectful, they didn't do their work, they didn't follow directions. I was appalled. I even raised my voice. And I didn't tear up in class, but almost. This is where the rubber hits the road. This week is when students had to dig in and work. It happens every time I teach and make them reach. I remember the day during student teaching when I went to my mentor teacher in tears and asked what I was doing wrong. Of course, being the great teacher that she was, she didn't answer me. She asked me what I thought I should be doing differently. Then she asked if it was okay for students to struggle with new concepts. I will always remember this. My first year of teaching, I had that moment, day, days. And my students not only recovered, but they overcame with a vengeance. They grew intellectually strong, they became deep thinkers, they learned to trust themselves, to believe that they really COULD do it. Whatever IT is. But right now, it feels heartbreaking. It feels messy. I feel inadequate. Is there more? Probably. I would be fooling myself if I didn't reflect and analyze and find out what I need to do differently.  I will reflect. I will analyze. I will figure out how to scaffold and support and help my students. And they will learn and grow and do some great learning. Here's to analysis and to new beginnings. Tomorrow is a new day.

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