Currently December 2013

Yes, it really is December. Already. Time to link up with Farley for December Currently. Hop on over and read up or even post your own.

Listening: to Family Man with Nicholas Cage and Tea Leoni. This is one of my favorite movies. I have it on VHS.

Loving: my home. I want to decorate for Christmas, but I still have stuff out from Thanksgiving. And the Christmas stuff, like wrapping paper and such, are going to go in the office. But it's the one room that's not "done." Not everything is unpacked and its become a "catch-all" room. Don't know where it goes, put it in the office. So... if I want to keep everything else functional and organized for Christmas, I need to get this room taken care of. I got the living room cleaned and rearranged and ready for the tree and so far (knock on wood) I haven't trashed the kitchen since Thanksgiving.  I cleaned, rearranged and organized (translation, finished settling/unpacking) my bedroom this weekend as well. So I am really starting to love my home again. It's starting to feel more like mine again. Not the house part, the HOME part.

Thinking: about my teaching career. Or maybe, currently, the lack thereof. Yes, I am a teacher, and yes, I teach. I teach small groups guided reading. I teach whatever lesson plans the classroom teacher plans for me. I am me, but I am also a puppet. And I am starting to feel my way, but sometimes I just flounder. This is probably a little true at any given time in my life. I do well, then I flounder, do well, flounder. It's a pattern. But I do more of the doing well part than the floundering part. I just really some kiddos to teach. I miss that. I miss the "class family" atmosphere. I miss classroom management (don't laugh), and I miss wiggle songs and laughter and even those frustrating moments. I miss my own classroom and that feeling that I finally found the career that I was born to do.

Wanting: everything. I want that fairy tale life. No conflict, no struggles, needs and wants met. My wanter gets turned on high this time of year. I want "stuff". I want stuff for my kids for Christmas. I want stuff for myself. I want this-n-that to make my home the best place in the world. Ugh. I don't like this wanting. I am wanting to get past this stage and start remembering what contentment feels like.

Needing: not much. Well, I need a job. I am on the hunt for next year, for a job that will bring me back to a salary and not an hourly pay.  A single mom can't really afford so many days off at Christmas. Needing to realize that we have a lot and that we will be okay. This may truly be the year we learn about the true meaning of Christmas. Although it's not the first year I have said this. I "need" a new computer too. Mine is threatening death and it's been touch and go a few times already. yikes. But seriously, I think about those children in the OCC pictures in orphanages and war-torn areas, and their box at Christmas may be the only worldly possessions they have.  Leave it to Operation Christmas Child to give me a little perspective.

Favorite Tradition: Christmas morning snacks/breakfast/lunch. When my oldest kids were little, we often just shoved our little family Christmas in wherever it would fit and it was often on Christmas morning before they left for their mother's house. So I starting the snacks we love at Christmas and making sure there was a little bit of breakfast sort of food as well. We'd have summer sausage and cheese with crackers (one of my girls loves summer sausage), and whatever other snacks we had.... fruits, or chex mix, or salsa, and at some point we added in artichoke dip, and sugar cookies (another tradition), and also cinnamon rolls (that's the breakfasty part). So... homemade salsa has joined our family traditions, as well as sugar cookies and various other Christmas goodies. So we serve these too. And fruit and a cream cheese fruit dip with cinnamon rolls. So no "formal dinner" for Christmas at this house. My children will go off to visit other family and eat big meals, but they won't want for anything here, because even though it's "just brunch" with lots of snack foods, there will be plenty.