Profound Sadness

I wasn't going to post about this, but that was when I was not feeling overwhelmed. Tonight, scrolling down fb, I was completely overwhelmed with a desire to cry and a deep need for Jesus to take me in his arms and hold me. One thought that comes through my head is that it's a lot of pressure on the rest of us teachers, the kind of hero that teacher was protecting all her students and giving her life for them.  I feel pretty lowly and incompetent when I hear about that. I have thought about what I would do for my own children, I am quick to say that I would take a bullet for my daughters, but the truth is, I am not so sure that is true. I love my girls, that is true, and I love my kindergarten students. *sigh* I don't know what I would really do in such a situation until I have to face it. I don't know the families in Connecticut who lost so much. But their tragedy has touched the nation.

I would also like to say that I am not a little freaked out, but that is also a lie. I have to say, the door to my classroom is locked now. I kept my door locked when school first started. Then I started to relax. But now my door is locked again. I just want my kids to have a fighting chance if something inappropriate happens. If you are a parent, I promise to do what I can. Parents are always welcome in my classroom, just check in through the office please.

I have a lot of other thoughts about safety and gun control and all of that, but not tonight. I just decided not to ignore something that saddens me so deeply.