BTL Blogging Challenge... day 4

I love blogging challenges! It is such a great way to commit to writing and to meet new blogger friends. I am involved in Michelle's July Blogging Challenge over at Big Time Literacy. Today the theme is: Summer Shelfie List. In other words.... what am I reading, what have I already completed reading, and what is still on the list.

Yesterday was our summer bucket list, and my bucket list mostly consisted of reading material. So what I am reading can be found here.

Just completed: Don't Blink by James Patterson and Howard Roughan. This was a fast read. I really enjoyed it.

Next up: Private: #1 Suspect by James Patterson and Maxine Paetro. Maxine Paetro is who co-writes the murder club series with Patterson and those are some of my faves.

IF I finish the list, I have the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown that I didn't finish last summer, but I would like to re-read and finish it. Yeah, it's a little on the deep side. I had to take it in chunks.

I will post some pictures later, but my tween kicked me out of the house to make me a birthday breakfast. I had to fill out a hospital style breakfast menu this morning and circle the choices I wanted.

Here is what I came home to, gluten-free blueberry muffins (because Punky is gf), oj on ice, lighting of the candles and singing Happy Birthday! 

So I'm sitting at the coffee shop typing my blog post. And I have a delightful coffee drink on the way. I'm enjoying the cooler weather as it is generally unbearably hot in Kansas by the 4th of July. We've had a strange and rainy summer so far. The park where the fireworks display usually is, is closed because of high water and the fact that the water is rushing too quickly to be safe. The event has been moved to a different location.

my view as I typed this blog post today

Today I don't have any deep prose about Independence Day or Life. I don't always appreciate the anniversary of my birth. But today I am not immersed in self-loathing or self-loving. It just is. And that is okay. Be safe my friends, enjoy the freedoms we have and the pleasure of friends and family.

Today is the day! We will wear our patriotic tie-dye when we get together with the fam.

Summer Bucket List....

Today is day three of the daily blogging challenge from Big Time Literacy (BTL). Today it's suggested that we write about our summer bucket list! Read everyone's list and join in if you want to!

Summer Bucket List 2016

1. Read!!!! Read for pleasure, read to become a better teacher, read to become a better person.....
Books I've completed thus far include:

• Takedown Twenty by Janet Evanovich. It's a Stephanie Plum novel and they are super easy/fast to read. 
• 14th Deadly Sin by James Patterson and Maxine Paetro. My cousin got me started on this series when we were visiting him in 2009. I'm waiting anxiously for our library to get the newest book in! 

Those are the two I have completed. Now, I have a plethora of books I am currently reading! The books that actually have meat to them take longer to read and they are also overwhelming at times and I have to put them down and move to something else for awhile. I am currently reading the following:

• Guided Math: A Framework for Mathematics Instruction by Laney Sammons. I am in charge of a book study for this book this summer and I'm trying to stay faithful. But this is one of those old school books where the chapters are LONG and intense and I'm generally overwhelmed long before I complete the chapter. Plus, I'm trying to be studious and take notes. I bought this on my Kindle. The nice thing about doing this is that you have the book immediately. But downside, you have to write notes in a notebook, not the margins. 
• Fostering Resilient Learners: Strategies for Creating a Trauma-Sensitive Classroom by Kristin Souers with Pete Hall. I am taking a book study on this. I am one of three general education classroom teacher in the study, everyone else is SPED or counseling of some sort. This is an easy read. I can read it almost as quickly as a novel. But it has a lot of good stuff in it and I get overwhelmed. I teach in a high poverty district and there is so much more I want to say, but I won't say it here. I believe that kids and parents who've been affected significantly by trauma are everywhere, not just in high poverty areas. But I also believe that we have a very high percentage of these families. The focus is to help teachers become aware that trauma indeed affects the brain and the child's ability to learn and we have to address the behaviors exhibited first before we can address academics. Then it gives us strategies to avoid the behaviors and address the behaviors. 
• Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey. Somehow, somewhere, I got off track in my parenting. I was a very consistent parent at one time. And I have known for a great long time that it is important to be direct and not speak in metaphors or generalities. One of the hardest things for me growing up was when my Dad would say, "you know the difference between right and wrong and I expect you to do the right thing." This might be okay for a teen who had been taught what the household expectations were, but it was overwhelming and confusing for me as a child. So I KNOW this. Anyway.... this book complements the Fostering Resilient Learners book and talks about ways to stay in the thinking part of your brain and get out of the limbic part. I am only in chapter 3. And it has been a strange trip with the tween already. I am determined to get my life back, so I am determined to do something different in regards to parenting. Her therapist and I discussed how things will likely get worse before they get better. So true. So true.Yesterday I cleaned and rearranged my bedroom and made it into a place I will enjoy spending time. Today I am trading doorknobs so I have a place to take a time out and to help enforce the boundaries I am setting. The biggie is bedtime. I NEED some time to myself and bedtime rituals seem to stretch out later and later and later, some nights as late as 11:30. The boundary is that I'm willing to say goodnights and pray with her as late as 10 pm (in the summer) and she doesn't have to go to sleep at that time, but she has to stay in her room after that. Not being willing to do this will be a major challenge behavior for my child and I anticipate some meltdowns, crying and violence. So that's why I'm getting myself a lock. I KNOW how to shut her down and shut her up, but I don't choose to parent that way anymore. 

So reading a chunk at a time takes a great deal of time and energy this summer! My goal is finish all of these books and some more "just for fun and pleasure" books.

Self care is a biggie and really important as a teacher. So "little things" are high on the list. Gardening. I have not cleaned out my flower garden for two years. Depression just took over. Gardening is life giving to me. And last year my dad made me a really nice garden on the south side of my porch and I just gave up on it halfway through the summer. Anywho.... my summer bucket list self-care includes yardwork, gardening and making the outside of my house look like a home again and not like an abandoned shack. My Dad and I have discussed making a patio on the North side of my house and it has been a goal for a couple years already.

PORTLAND!!! I have never been to the west coast or a west coast state at all! But July 18 and 19 I will be in Portland, Oregon with our new school counselor (and principal) for Safe and Civil Schools training with Dr. Randy Sprick. My principal approached me about going to this and it seemed like a fantastic opportunity! I can't wait!

Teacher Tribe! My teaching tribe is on my bucket list. We went to the teacher store in Wichita at the end of May and it was so much fun! We are planning a trip to Lindsborg (little Sweden) next week. This is a town just a few miles from me (about 15 minutes) and it's quaint and super fun. There's a fun mexican restaurant there and unique shopping opportunities. But connecting with other teachers and sharing life, talking about teaching ambitions and classroom do's and don't's.... priceless.

Along the lines of self care I really want to start getting healthier. I have been more active this summer than I have been the last few years. But I have not gotten into a healthy routine of foods that are good for me and exercise of any kind. I would like to establish an exercise routine of some kind before school starts in August. So I better get busy.

My bucket list for beyond this summer includes a meet up with Michelle. But I don't think it is in my financial realm this year. But I would LOVE to meet face-to-face. My life is richer because of my blogging friends!

My Writing Story....

Today is day two of Michelle's Big Time Literacy blogging challenge! Today we are challenged to write our writing story. And my thoughts are cluttered. But I'll try to gather them and write a readable blog post! Join us at BTL for her challenge! You can join in and write, or just hop over and read.

My writing life.
Writing is a gift, a necessity, a cool drink of water. And it has been this way for a long, long time. When I was a freshman in high school, a tumultuous time in my life to say the least, I had this teacher that believed in me. She didn't JUST see an at-risk kid whose family life was falling apart during that period in life when kids are hormonally imbalanced at all times of the day and night. She saw ME. And for that, I am forever grateful. Mrs. Penner was my English teacher, and she introduced me to the world of poetry. I will be forever grateful for this as well. I started purging my soul through poems. I wrote about the dark place that I lived and some of my writing, well, it was bad. But as I went back to her to have her read my writing time after time after time, long after my class with her had ended, she continued to say.... KEEP WRITING!

Writing is cathartic. It purges the soul. Writing is powerful.

For many, many years I could only write when things were black and bleak. I have been training myself though to focus on the good, on gratitude, and what is right both in the world and myself. And it is getting easier to write about how good life is today.

Before blogging I would pour my heart out in fb notes and on myspace (anyone remember that place?!). I was (am) an over-sharer. Once I start sharing, then you're privy to all the sinister and not-so-socially-appropriate topics and details that are my life. So... as my journey into real adulthood progressed, I realized I could not continue to over-bless people with my opinions. Because, you know what they say about opinions. And I had discovered another passion.... teaching. I wanted to be a teacher more than anything in the world! And I wanted to be employable. Which meant the over-sharing had to come to a halt. And it was/is difficult for me. I have another blog, in another name, that I can use to write and over-share when I need to. Or when my professional life would not tolerate what I have to write about.

Once upon a time ago, I had a daycare (20 years ago this coming fall, I know this because my Redhead is turning 20 next week), and many of the parents in my daycare were teachers. A lady named Alyce brought her precious son Sam to me when he was still learning to crawl. She interviewed me like she was National Security! I was sweating it! But she chose to bring her most precious piece of herself to my daycare and trusted me with his well-being. And we became fast friends. And when she moved away and had another child, she chose to start her own daycare. And when I had a child 8 years after my Redhead, she came to the hospital and taught me about being a competent mother and breast feeding. But at some point, we lost touch. Then my friend, who had been in Special Education when her son came to my house, got a job teaching regular education (oh that sounds so wrong, but whatever, teaching in a self-contained classroom). And I graduated from FHSU with my teaching degree and we re-connected. And her advice to me was to find some blogs to read, and read them and see how other teachers run their classrooms. My dear friend Alyce had this blog: Mrs. Bartel's School Family. So I found it and followed it. I had to join blogger to do that. Hmmmm.... how hard would it be to create my own blog? Which is what I did, from the OK panhandle, teaching in a diverse community, in my very first Kindergarten class. Here is my very first blog post ever.

I love writing about life. I LOVE, love, love TwoWritingTeachers march blogging challenge, and Slice of Life! And teaching is life. And it is all intertwined in some way. If I am writing about my spiritual life, it relates to teaching. If I am purging my soul, it will likely in some way relate to teaching. If I write about gratitude and this amazing journey called life, it will most definitely be woven with anecdotes about teaching.

When I moved back to Kansas from the OK panhandle, I felt lost again. Once again, no administrators jumped up to take a chance on the kid from the wrong side of the tracks. Once again, I was jobless with many, many bills for pay. And I discovered Big Time Literacy. I think Alyce discovered it first and that I found it through her blog. Michelle, did you do a challenge or some sort of link-up that first summer? My memory says yes you did, but I am not certain. (This brain does not retain!)

Since I am compelled to share and share and share about my life, I love linky parties and any opportunity to tell the world about what I'm doing and where my life is going. So I join them. all. of. them. Okay, I am getting better. But certainly as a new blogger, I joined any and every link-up I could find! Somehow I became connected with Michelle. We only know each other through blogging, and yet.... I count her in my dearest friends. The friends I overshare with (and some uncomfortable pauses). Seriously, we are talking about a meet up. What could be more thrilling?

Writing. I would love to write a book of short stories, anecdotes, thoughts and/or meditations. That is my hope. My "someday..."

For now, I blog.

BTL Blogging Challenge! Yay!

Currently. Today we are challenged to use Farley's format of Currently, a linky party she hosted on the first of the month that tells what we are Listening to, Loving, Thinking, Wanting, Needing. Farley always changed up the last one, Michelle's last category this month is to share what we Hope to get out of this blogging challenge. Head to Big Time Literacy to read everyone's Currently!

I made a grid-thingy for my Currently. It is not fancy because I am not actually tech-savvy (please don't tell anyone), even though I graduated from a technologically forward thinking college.  But if you are like me and you like the format that we used for Farley's Currently, then you can use this one. Paste it into power point, fill out the chart, save as a jpeg file and you are set and ready!

 Here is my Currently in a nice little grid and I'll expound on each one briefly below. 

Listening.... since it rained I was able to open the windows again this morning. It's a little humid, but worth it to get that fresh air smell and to win the love and affection of my cat who prowls around daily demanding that I open the window for him. This was my morning "sound of silence" which has since been replaced with the sound of Netflix in the background.

Loving.... it's been a little bit of a busy summer. But I love the luxury of sleeping in and planning my days around reading, meetings, professional development, appointments, etc. I have rejuvenated my spirit by getting together with my teaching tribe, being active in a group called Circles, making new friends, and professional development opportunities!

Tie-dying is cathartic for me. I spent an entire day making shirts and socks.

This is me, reading, while my daughter and her friend swim in our friend's pool.

We got snocones and consumed them in the park.

Most of my teaching tribe on an adventure to the teacher store and lunch!

Thinking.... I've been pushing against my past and my childhood for all my life. And it doesn't bring real change. Real change takes willingness. But it only takes a small dose of willingness and a lot of persistence. Real change also takes a team of cheerleaders. I know that my students need 3 positives to 1 negative (and some kids need to more positives than that to balance out the negatives). When the people around me tell me that they believe in me, notice when I do things right and I feel cared about and competent, that is when real change occurs for me. I am not really different than my students. But finally, finally, finally, the miracle is starting to happen for me. Never give up on the miracle. It usually happens when I'm about to give up.

My friend Brenda from Circles. These people do not give up on me. And the miracle is happening.

Wanting.... an easy button for parenting. Last summer I ordered the book Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey. I didn't crack the cover last summer. But this year I am persevering. So right now I am in chapter 3 and reading about the Seven Discipline Skills. I am learning a lot and trying to focus on the positive. One of the big things she stresses at the beginning of the book is that whatever we focus on, increases. This is not new news to me. But I am really focusing on this as an attitude and lifestyle, not just parenting.

Needing.... to do those things I said I would do this summer. Numero uno on the list was the Punky's dresser and she still does not have it. I also vowed to get some painting done in my home and insulation installed in the basement. These projects will give me a sense of accomplishment as well as improving our quality of life.

This is the "before" picture. Time to transform this....

Hoping.... to get my writing mojo back. I seem to have lost interest in my blog. And writing is cathartic for me. I love to write, professionally and personally. So I am hoping to get back to it! I have been a faithful challenger since Michelle started this and I love it. I'm hoping to be faithful and blog daily (or nearly daily) and reignite my passion for blogging.

Start of Summer....

I was going to say "my week in review" but I really want to cover more than just one week. My life since I have not gone to see my students every day....

First of all, since school got out two days early (unused snow days), and we were contracted to work those days, we had professional development. Loved it. Seriously. A lot of colleagues said they wished they could be working in their rooms (okay, I had PLENTY to do in my classroom), but I was just happy that we could get paid and increase our knowledge. We are adopting a new math program, we adopted Envision 2.0. We had a day of instruction about the new curriculum one day and we did pacing for our grade level on the other day. I have heard plenty of mixed reviews about Envision but I am very excited for some structure in math and for the guidance and support materials!

I also had the chance to learn more about PLC's, Professional Learning Communities, and what they should look like if they are running smoothly and as they should! I can't wait to see how this plays out this year and the difference this makes in our teams!

Next, I took advantage of the opportunity to learn about ways to document interventions and to facilitate conversations that help children become or remain calm. We used the ERASE model. I am looking forward to using it and continuing to learn more about students who need the extra structure and need to be taught the skills to succeed.

My district offered a morning of paid Professional Development to restructure, refine, tweak, revamp, fine-tune our classroom management structures and practices. Maybe we just needed to change a few "little" things, maybe we wanted to revamp our entire system. And of course, it should match and complement our behavior structure (PBIS) program. We use CHAMPS and I think if we can really implement it with (sorry to say the F word) FIDELITY, we'll see a huge difference in our schools over the next 5 years as structures remain in place giving kids stability and continuity, some things that our high-risk/high-needs kids really need in place to feel safe and to thrive.

Wow. I've been so busy. I didn't even touch on packing up my messy, unorganized classroom, flipping the teacher closets with the classroom I am moving to, moving all my stuff, making sure I got everything moved, marked, centered, etc. for the big event of moving rooms, end of year cleaning and packing and so forth. I believe that I do not have photographic evidence of this. Trust me, if you know me, you can imagine how cluttered and unorganized it appeared. (If you know me, you know that is in part a ruse.... I am organized in a way, but that way is messy. Most of the time I know exactly where that whatchamacallit is located under the pile or other whatchamacallits amid the mess of every day life). Documentation of the mess is not necessary, it was scary messy. Now it's not. End of two-long-days story.

Now for the summer rejuvenation part....
Yesterday I met up with some of the members of my teacher tribe. And yes, I love them. We laugh, we plan, we share what we did that worked, we share heartbreak, we share the professional and the deeply personal. We have declared the meeting of the tribe to be a safe place and what is said there, stays there. Thank goodness because I have shared the deeply personal more than once. And let's face it, for me, the professional is also deeply personal. I love my students and their families and their success is personal to me.

Tribe members. These girls make my heart happy! 

On this journey yesterday I was initiated into the teacher store world. We went to Bizzy Bee in Wichita. My first time to go there. I practiced restraint. I bought myself a new planner. It is not Plum Paper, or Erin Condren, or Bloomz. But I think I am going to love it. It has 8 periods and my planner last year only had 7 so I had to double up in one section. It's not bulky, but it's complete. I am really excited about it.

I have been carving out some time for my daughter, the Punkin, who has magically and mysteriously grown up recently. I look at her and think.... what happened to that little girl? This young woman has curves and moods to match. *sigh* But we are loving our back yard, which is truly ours again thanks for a privacy fence to define our space and give us a sense of security and safety.

This part where the gate is, is temporary. Eventually it will extend past the sidewalk and up to the front corner of the house on the North side

*ah* Beautiful privacy!

A girl and her dog.

She got me to braid her hair during our "watch the game" night at Grandma and Grandpa's

Selfish, self-centered, reading for fun. Don't expect it to make sense....

And reading to better myself. As a person. As a mom. As a teacher. As a lover of children who wants to treat them with respect and teach them to respect others at the same time.

So in the two weeks that I've been without students, I have been lazy, busy, hard-working and in pursuit of fun and fellowship. It has been great. I miss my kiddos. I think about them. I say a prayer for them. I remember their hugs. I look forward to the kids I will meet in Fall.

The Final Five....

This is my final Five for (Friday) of the year. Probably not EVER. But as the 2015-16 year has drawn to a close for my students, it is a officially summer. Ironically enough it is chilly in Kansas and we have not had any 100 degree days yet. I don't think we've even hit the 90's yet. I know I thought it was oppressively hot when it was in the mid-upper 80's last week. But I digress.... once again, I am late to the party and I'm posting on Saturday. But I'm joining Doodle Bugs Teaching for the May 20th Five for Friday linky. This means posting five "random" things from my week or day. So here goes....

1. Last week we learned about Frogs! We read from Tadpole to Frog and then we also read some Froggy books. This made a nice end of year display for my now First Graders!

2. Bubble day! We practiced at home to make sure the bubbles turned out.

Then we tried it out at school. Students got to try out the homemade bubbles, store bought bubbles, and just had a great time together!

Giving everyone a turn to try to make a giant bubble.

One of my students even used their hand to make bubbles!

 I had so much fun working with the students and helping them blow bubbles that I didn't get any pictures of the BIG bubbles!

3. Family fun! I made myself a couple new coasters while teaching my daughter how to put them together.

My Punkin is making coasters for an end of the year gift for her teacher, who loves anchors.  She bought the material with her own money. I love this girl's heart.

4. First grade preview! We buddied up with one of the first grade classes and had a giant morning meeting where we shared how we do morning meeting, then they shared how they do morning meeting! Afterward we paired up (or made a trio in some cases) and toured the first grade class while the first grade buddies explained procedures from first grade to our Kinders!

5. We had a shirt signing party! We had shirts from our trip to the zoo so we put them on and signed each other's shirts to start off our day! This was a really fun way to remember each other!

I hope and wish the best for these kids as they head to first grade. But we have grown quite close this year and I will miss them tremendously. I always look forward to the next year and to meeting my new class, but it is so hard to let these little learners go and grow up! It was an amazing year!